I think many of us have seen, or still often see, the children’s message/children’s sermon during the Divine Service on a Sunday morning. The pastor (or a lay person) calls the kids to sit at the foot of the communion rail, and they’re given a few minutes of (ideally) simple theology. Often, it is a moral minute. We learn not to be mean. We learn to share. We learn that Jesus can be like a random object hidden in a box, to which the pastor has to make up similarities and connections to on the spot. Can this be of benefit to our children, or does it actually do them harm? Let’s consider the benefits first.
Why add a children’s message? There is some historical precedent for the practice, which has been derived from the Methodist and Congregational Churches over the last couple of centuries. The reason behind it stems from a desire to engage children in their faith. Not a bad thing, for sure! Don’t we want all ages to feel like they are part of the Divine Service of God to His people? It would be theologically backwards to answer no—Christ is for all. The desire for children to receive the focus of Christ’s Word is good and salutary. Children need the Word of God; they are sinnerlings who, through biblical instruction, learn to obey everything Christ has commanded in connection to their Baptism. I can see why many desire to bring children to Jesus in this way. So why the gripe? Doesn’t Jesus say, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these” (Matthew 19:4)?
Other reasons to support children’s messages might include the sense that children are often a distraction. Children’s messages give parents a chance to rest (except perhaps for the mom chasing the child who has just learned to walk) so that they can catch their breath for a moment. After all, kids can be loud and make it difficult to hear the sermon or focus on what is happening in the service. A break can be helpful. But is this a good reason?
My complaint is not the sentiment of the children’s message, but the practice. Practice reveals belief, and belief is lived out in practice. A tree by its fruit and all that. What are we telling our children when we call them out to the front? One, we separate them from their families. Yes, one parent may bring up the smaller ones, but once they’re able, they bring themselves apart from their parents. In many instances, the children’s message is a signal for all the children to leave the sanctuary and run off to “children’s church,” a further separation from their parents. In practical terms, we are teaching our kids that their parents’ faith is distinct from their own. We sever the connection to the saints at large who have handed us the Divine Service, and instead we make worship about the individual. How American. There may be a child-friendly attempt to distinguish Law and Gospel in children’s messages, but does a four-year-old really get it—and is a pastor really trained to teach these concepts to ages 2–12? More often, a “good” children’s sermon is designed for the adults, and when adults like it, it is considered “good.”
But it runs deeper. Often the message is a parental abdication and appeal to the authority of the pastor. Pastor knows. He’s the expert. Listen to him. Church is where kids go to learn about Jesus from the experts, not their parents—right? Parents don’t know all the answers. In their theological timidity, they need another man to step into their role and teach about Jesus using whatever toys, tools, or analogies he can. Then, when the family leaves church, mom and dad feel they have done their due diligence in raising their children in the faith, and the week is open for sports, video games, and work until it comes time to give God another hour of their week again next Sunday.
Now wait a minute, you’re thinking. The pastor is also there for the children. Yes. Indubitably. The pastor is called by God. He is given the keys to unleash the free gifts of Christ and His Kingdom on everyone, including kids. But is that what we see in the children’s message? I’ve mostly observed poor analogies that most of the kids don’t really understand. Here’s the true rub: What does the Office of the Keys offer the children’s sermon that isn’t in the rest of the Divine Service?
Once again, I am driven back to examining how we teach in relation to our own practice. The message for children should not be the practice of taking them away from their parents, but rather letting them sit together. Letting them see those who are given the highest authority under God, namely their father and mother, model how to participate in service. Let them honor God by honoring their parents.
Why do we feel we need to bring children forward separately? Do we think that the Holy Spirit doesn’t work through the rest of the Divine Service? Is the living and active Word not sufficient in the psalms, prayers, confession, and all the service? Does Baptism not confer forgiveness without the need for reason? Why can a child not receive anything from the regular sermon? Why peel them away from their families, where they’re called to honor father and mother? It applies to confirmation class too. All too often, we entrust the theological upbringing of our children to others and release parents from the role and responsibility that come with the Fourth Commandment. Do we expect a child to be ready for this world when their instruction comes from (maybe) an hour a week?
I think you see my main gripe. It’s that parents do not take on the burden of catechetical instruction and that fathers, in particular, are not fulfilling their role as head of the household. Many act like the children’s sermon and Sunday school are enough to prepare for confirmation, where their child will “graduate” from their faith and, odds are, won’t return. We teach our children that church happens in a building, and when they grow up, they get to decide to believe or not. We neglect reading Scripture as a family. We hope the pastor or Sunday school teacher can answer the hard questions. In our practice, we tell our children that there is no continuity of the faith in the family, and church becomes a personal choice. The children’s message, Sunday school, confirmation, even high school youth groups—they all fall into the trap of compartmentalizing children from their families and feeding the drive to keep children in church with fun and games. In the end, it’s a failure of parenting, particularly of the father, who is the one called to be the spiritual head of the family and not a wilted wallflower who maybe mumbles a hymn on Sunday.
What do we do? We definitely do not wait for confirmation for our pastor to fix years of neglect. We do not treat the children’s sermon as a salve to the week of bombardment in a fallen world. If anything, the pastor should call the men up to the rail and teach them how to teach their families at home. Have a men’s message and give a topic to discuss throughout the week. Encourage them to be the leaders their children need at home so that Sunday morning is part of the echo of God’s Word that they’ve been hearing all week. Stop trying to separate families and let parents model what it is to sit in the presence of a Holy God who works through the Word, not how clever a pastor can be with items hidden in a shoebox.
I have never heard anyone say that it was the children’s message that kept them in the Word and gave them faith during the hard times. I have heard it said that families that are in the Word together will consistently have children who maintain the same tradition of faith. It is not too late to begin. Christ called Zacchaeus, He called Paul, He called many late in life to be the leaders the Church needs. Do you want children to grow in their faith? Men, step up. Sing whether your voice is good or not. Attend on Sunday and get the family moving. Attend Bible study and lead others in the Word. The Lord will work through you, and the Holy Spirit will provide His Word to share. Doing these things will help children develop a pattern of grace, mercy, and peace that comes through godly parents. That’s what the children need.
