By Graham Glover –

I think those who share my views on marriage and sexuality are obsessed. They have lost their focus on what’s really the problem and instead spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about the normalization and legalization of homosexual marriage.

Why make such a comment? Well, the marriage conversation is everywhere. Religious leaders, politicians, conferences and conventions, journal articles, blogs, Facebook updates, etc. are consumed with the debate over homosexual marriage. It is inescapable. And those (like me) who believe marriage is properly understood as the sacred and permanent union between 1 man and 1 woman, appear beyond exasperated with recent court rulings and laws that are redefining the term and institution of marriage.

To a certain degree I understand this exasperation. Like many, I don’t like the trajectory our society is heading on issues of sexuality and marriage. We are definitely in uncharted territory and I too am nervous on where this is all going. But to those who share my views, I’ve got a message: it’s time to get over it. It’s time to stop the obsession. It’s time to look beyond the debate over homosexual marriage and time to start focusing on the abysmal state of heterosexual marriage and heterosexual sexuality. The real problem isn’t those who support homosexual marriage. The real problem is heterosexuals who long ago divorced themselves from the sanctity of holy matrimony, who regularly engage in adulterous affairs, and who treat marriage like an arbitrary civil contract. The idea that homosexual marriage is the straw that is destroying the back of our pseudo-Christian culture is absurd.

Am I implying that I support homosexual marriage or condone homosexual behavior? Of course not. But homosexuality is really an insignificant issue to me. And I’m getting to the point where those fighting the homosexual agenda are fast losing my support.

But Chaplain, how can you say such things?! Don’t you see the evil homosexuals are doing to our society?!

Get real. And get over yourself.

In the parishes I have served, the Soldiers I have ministered to, and the classrooms I have taught in, homosexuality is more often than not an afterthought. It’s a non-issue made significant by militants on both sides of the debate. The real culprits are heterosexuals. The real issue is the multitude of their sexual sins.

You know as well as I that 90+% of heterosexual couples engage in pre-marital sex. Close to 60% of marriages (both military and civilian) end in divorce. Heterosexual promiscuity is the established norm and gladly accepted in every region of the country and every segment of society. And you want to know if I am worried about the normalization of homosexual behavior?! I’m immensely more concerned with the heterosexual deviancy I see every single day on the internet, TV, and advertisements. This is what affects me, my children, and every single person reading this column.

Truth be told, like many in my profession, I don’t have an out of control issue with homosexuality (we’re talking about a very small percentage of the population). But I do have a significant problem with heterosexuals who look on their sexual sins as an afterthought. I do have real issues with these same heterosexuals that are leading the crusade against homosexual marriage, etc., and then turn a blind eye to no-fault heterosexual divorce, who ignore the normalization of adulterous heterosexual behavior, and who scoff at the idea that the church ought to concern itself with their marriages and sexual activity. We heterosexuals are quick to point out the sins of our homosexual neighbors, but seldom consider the multitude of sexual sins we ourselves are committing every single day. And this is why I think it’s time to refocus the conversation on marriage and sexuality. This is why I think it’s time to get over homosexual marriage.

Politically speaking you know I’m right. Homosexual marriage is a reality that will not go away. And further redefinitions are coming. Get ready.

The question is what are heterosexuals who are concerned about marriage and sexuality issues going to do? By fighting homosexuals and others who do not share our normative concerns on these issues we are missing the real debate. I contend that instead of focusing on homosexual marriage we ought to focus on heterosexual deviancy, and thereby get to the real root of the problem.