I Hope I’m Better than My Dad Was…

By Jonathan Holmes

Back in February, my son was born. He’s healthy, and a real chill dude. He only cries to get out of his crib; I think it’s more that he just wants to make sure that we hear him and don’t forget about him. After all, his life is dependent on my wife and me to care for him, especially now. He’s just starting to walk. I’m a proud dad, especially since we were told we most likely would never have children. That’s right, we stuck it to the science guys!

Over the past 10 or so months, I’ve been pondering about what kind of dad I’m going to be. Will I have a good relationship with my boy? Will he listen to me at all? Will I be able to handle him as he gets older? I’m sure many of you, moms included, have had similar questions to these. It boils down to one question in the end though: Will I be a good dad?

I think back to how my own dad raised me. The same thought keeps coming back to me: “God, I hope I’m better than he ever was…” Now, I say this not because my dad was a bad dad. He just did some things in raising me that are much less desirable than others. He is flawed. He’s corrupted in nature as one conceived in sin. The thing is, I sinned against him, and he sinned against me. It’s the nature of a fallen world, and we should not be surprised that these bad things happen.

Yet, I still want to be a better dad than him, and I pray this is what my dad wishes for me. I think every father should want to be better than his dad ever was to him. My prayer is that I sin less against my child than my dad did against me.

My dad wasn’t/isn’t a bad father. It’s just that things could have been better. But isn’t that life? Things can always be better. The good news is that some day it will be—and not just better, but the absolute best, when our gracious and merciful Father brings us to Himself into His eternal resting place.

Yes, I hope I’m better than my dad ever was, but I pray even more that my little tike forgives me and is a better father that I ever was.