The Evil Mother Inside

By Cindy Koch

When it comes to her child, a mother isn’t afraid of much. Without thinking, she will run into disaster to save her little one. She will seek out the answer and remedy when her baby is sick. She will go to great lengths to make sure her child is safe and well cared for, unafraid of the consequences. It is in her nature to shield and love the creatures that God has given her. But there is an evil enemy that a mother doesn’t talk about. It is a terrifying force that lies just as close as her protection. A mother’s greatest fear is not the evil that threatens to harm her child from the outside. Rather, for the sake of her child, she is deathly afraid of her own evil that rages within.

Since the birth of her little baby, she does everything in her power to provide “the best” she can muster. Whether it is breast-feeding or bottle, her defense rests on what is best for her baby. Whether he stays at home or goes to day care, she comforts herself with the best option she can muster. But what if her “best” doesn’t help her child? What if her “best” is wrong? What if her “best” ends up hurting this baby that she loves so much?

Yet, this terrifying question does not leave off once a mother has put away his diapers. As he grows into a young boy, making friends and experiencing life, she is still helping to guide him through this turbulent world. He will join activities, learn instruments, play sports, gather with friends. A mother must still make decisions for her child, provide opportunities and curb experiences for her growing child. That nagging concern has never quieted from within. What if the path she encourages leads to his pain and even destruction? What if the activities and sports and lessons leave him more disadvantaged than when he began? What if he grows up to be a failure on account of his mother?

In the end, every mother wants to be able to say she did everything she could do for her children. But the reality of every mother is that she will be lacking. Her own selfish desires for popularity and greatness will attack her very own child. Her own dependence on foolish idols will also distract her child. Her own neglect in ways she may never recognize will bruise the baby that she loves. Her own sinful heart, life, and decisions will never be enough for him to excel beyond this broken world. A mother should be afraid of her own evil that rages within.

Mothers, do not fear the terrifying enemy that lurks within your best intentions. There is a greater protector for your child than you. He is not crushed nor quieted by this world. He speaks life to your child despite his success or failure, now or ever. He is a free and complete gift of salvation for your child in every place that we are lacking. Jesus Christ died to forgive your incomplete and unsuccessful mothering. Our Lord rose to new life so that He alone could give you and your little one eternal life.

Mothers, today we still boldly love our children, protecting them and loving them as best as we possibly know how. But today we are not lying to ourselves, believing that it is our best decisions putting him on the right path. Rather, whatever decisions we happen to make in their lives—good or bad, selfish or noble—Christ has decided the eternal outcome for our children. Mothers, today we need not fear the enemy within, because Jesus has already set us and our children free forever.

One thought on “The Evil Mother Inside

  1. Cindy, you touched a nerve I am sure. Most mothers can likely relate to your exposition. I think that most of us grew up intimately observing, as all children do, the words and actions of our own mothers and fathers. We see them at their best and sometimes at their worst. As children, we process our thoughts early on, and though often unspoken, we begin to see our parents in their humanity. We loved them and knew they lived with their own unfulfilled desires., Flesh and blood are strong and powerful, and after our mother’s are gone from this earth and we are old ourselves, we cherish them for their unselfish acts on our behalf. Love conquers all.

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