She slowly walks into the room. Smiling at no one, and everyone at the same time. Running soft smooth fingers over the spotless surfaces, her sparkling clean fingernails reflect the pure absence of dirt. Politely she speaks. Quietly she sits. Silently seductively she cinches her collar tight. Purposefully she pulls at hem of her skirt, lower licking the polished toes of her shoes.
The unforgettable charm of beauty has entered the room, and life will never be the same. All comparison to her will be lacking. All desires apart from her will appear foolish. She will captivate the hearts and minds of those who behold her perfection. As long as one keeps wholly focused on her, directly into her unforgiving eyes, never ever touching her unblemished skin.
But there she sits. Unattainable and out of reach. Promising peace with only her distant perfume. Whispering wholeness with only her far away words. Feigning faithfulness in a life you can only imagine. She is surely a temptation, poor beautiful girl. Not because she is evil in herself, not at all. But all who reach out for her will be shown lacking. And she has been set aside for something greater all together.
It’s so frustrating to know her. Too often you think she is yours do with as you please. Display her there. Make her speak a little louder over here. Unite her to the ones who need a new and improved life. Pretend she is your own idealized reflection in the mirror. All the while, she sits and smiles at your funny little games. You think you know who she is. You think you can win over her eternal love. Yet she will only show you one thing.
You don’t know who you are.
It is good to love her. Yet your tokens of affection are offensive. It is good to want her. And your pursuit shows you more unattractive by the second. It is right to desire her. Which leaves you more empty than ever before. The blameless beauty that you were created to crave is cruelly exposed as an impossibility. For you.
This seductive law mistress has inspired you deeply. Before she walked in, you did not understand how much you could want her. After she settled in your heart and mind, you had no idea how destructive she would end up to be. You must either consign yourself to ignorance about the whole ordeal, or you must face the truth.
You find it to be her wanton words of unfulfilled promise that if you want her, your own evil identity is impassioned. You love her, but your disastrous hands will never be able touch her. She is a treacherous tease that has unwillingly trapped you in her unfruitful service. And now, your only escape from her torturous clutches is death itself.
You don’t know who you are. Until you stop believing that she promises you a new life. You don’t know who you are. Until you see that you are dead in her eyes. You don’t know who you are. Until you are desperate enough to see another.
The other one sitting there. Who had been there from the beginning. She isn’t all that pretty. She speaks in strange ways and doesn’t look like your dreams. She is rough around the edges and has dirt under her nails. It seems she’s loved too many. It seems like she is too bold and too free. And it suspiciously feels like she is too easy to attract.
But you hear her voice. And you feel her touch. And you have been taken up in the other woman’s embrace before you ever even knew her name. Even though she already knows everything about you. Your failing and your lacking. Your desire for another. Your unrepentant secrets. Your inability to be who you thought you were.You know exactly who you are. But apart from everything, she chooses you, and has made you a king.