By Cindy Koch –
What are you doing this Thursday night? I know exactly where I will be; out with my man. Yes, Thursday may seem a little strange for Date Night. That’s usually a Friday or Saturday thing, right? Well, the long answer is my husband does not go to the gym Friday morning (6:00am?!) and there is never a competing event on a Thursday. So you will find us out on the town T-H-U-R-S-day NIGHT!
We must schedule this time together in our week. After years of babies, student loan stress, church council meetings, home renovations, and (now) teenage breakdowns, we are almost never focused exclusively on each other. Of course we do things together; we watch our favorite Netflix episode side-by side almost every night! But our weekly routine needs a time when I laugh with him, recognizing the amusement in his eyes. I must have a moment to clearly see the frustration in the creases of his forehead.
Thursday night is the time that I learn more about my friend, my husband. We talk about the future, the past, theology, sports (I try to listen and make sense of it), our friends, our families, our victories (mostly Olympic lifting PR’s), our pain, even our anger. Some Thursdays we go out and have nothing to say at all. We will just eat, drink, and smile. I may dress up one Thursday with heels & lipstick. The next Thursday it might be my simple jeans and a T-shirt. It’s not uncommon, on a Thursday night, I break down in tears. Something held in too long, something I didn’t even know that hurt. There are Thursdays I had to forgive. There are Thursdays that I was forgiven.
If you are anything like us – married – then you know that the relationship isn’t just magical once you repeat the words “I will”. There is another sinner that now lives in your house, for the rest of your life. There are frustrations and expectations. There are hurtful words and too many activities. We can easily lose the puppy love friendship recalled from our wedding day. Some may even say “marriage is work” and you will have to really try hard to make it last. I think it may be easier than all that.
Just go out.
Enjoy your life with your friend. Be with your friend. Laugh with your friend. Cry with your friend. Forgive your friend. God has given you this special person to share your days here – so just be what He said you were – one flesh. Now, you don’t have to do what we do: yummy food downtown then Rye on the rocks at O’Learys. It’s not a magic formula for happiness. (Although Paul might argue that one.) But carving out that unique time for that special person hedges you in to grow in friendship with your spouse.