The Twelve (Now Thirteen) Stages of Grief When Writing a Weekly Blog

By Scott Keith

frustrated-computer-user-2000

Dedicated to: Dr. Jeff Mallinson, Dr. Daniel van Voorhis, Mr. Caleb Keith, and The Lovely and Talented Mrs. Koch.

Welcome to The Jagged Word!

Writing a weekly blog is an exciting proposition. But soon, reality sets in. Writing a consistent weekly blog is work! It is not easy to be witty, insightful, well researched, and lucid every week while still maintaining all of your other vocations. What I write below are the internal and external thoughts and conversations that are had by weekly bloggers as they go through the 12 (now 13) stages of blog writing grief. I think that I have experienced all of these stages of grief myself. I hope you enjoy my attempt at self deprecating humor. This post will also serve as a “best of The Jagged Word.” You know, just like they used to do on your favorite 1980’s sitcoms.

  1. Excitement: Holy crap, I get to write a weekly blog. Everyone is going to be so interested in all of my interesting insights. Paul Koch is awesome. This is a great idea. Why didn’t I think of this? (For a good example of the excitement blog, read my first Jagged Word blog “Truth?“)
  1. Confusion: Does anyone actually read this? Why don’t they say anything? When are they going to start reading? Am I actually witty and insightful? Maybe I’m boring. Is this supposed to give me this much anxiety? (This is a nice example of a blog written in confusion: “Disneyland and Puppies“)

simple_yet_brilliant_quotes_from_the_one_and_only_king_of_the_hill_22_photos0

  1. The First Comment: They like me, they really really like me. I knew I was awesome. Why did I doubt myself so much last week? (Our first comment on The Jagged Word: “Christian Radio = Lame“)
  1. Minor Fame: (At a cocktail party) “Why yes, I am The Cantankerous Critic.” “So you liked my article, I’m glad it was of help to you.” “If you liked that article, you’re going to love what I write next week.” (This was my first taste of minor fame: “A Mental Health Epidemic“)
  1. The Regular Commenter (Part 1): This is awesome. It is like I am having an old-school theological discussion over beer. These guys are so insightful and interesting. Rock on! (“Why is the Church Shrinking? Happiness!” )

enjoy-capitalism-1301

  1. The Regular Commenter (Part 2): Does this guy even have a job? All he does is comment back on my blog. I’ve already answered 10 of his responses. Damn, his last comment was longer than my actual blog. I don’t have time for this shit. (This is a good example of a post that prompted enough commenting back and forth that it causes us all to wonder a bit about all of you out there in commentland: “Dear Christians, Capitalism is not your Friend“)
  1. The Vacation Blog: Man, I don’t want to write an F-ing blog while I’m on F-ing vacation. This thing is like a ball and chain! That damn Paul Koch is a task master. He’s worse than my wife! Screw him, all he gets is a well chosen quote! “Vacations are cool, I am too, this blog sucks, how about you?” (For a good example of the vacation blog, see: “In The Wild“)
  1. The Angry Blog: Screw these guys! They want to know what I have to say, well I’m going to tell them. You guys are the bleep, bleep, bleep, bleepingist, bleeps I’ve ever known. Why don’t you stop writing angry comments and get a real job, or better yet, actually contribute to the conversation rather than just tearing everyone else down and talking about yourselves? You want a piece of me? Well come and get it. You suck! (For a good example of the angry blog, see: “Amoral Pulpits“)

bar27

  1. The Drunk Blog: Well, you guys have driven me to it! Congratulations. I think I might actually be an alcoholic because of this stupid blog. “Hey waiter, bring me another drink.” This waiter is awesome, and he doesn’t even get tipped in this country. Why can’t our commenters be as awesome as this waiter? Man, the thought of writing this next blog makes me want to drink again. Opa! (For a good example of the drink blog, see: “Dear Blog Readers, Chill Out“)
  1. The Gloating Blog: Alright F*@#ers, it’s on. You want to go toe to toe on a subject. Try this, I’ll write a 1,000 words on my subject! That’s right, I’m going to write about my dissertation topic and just see if you can keep up. I’ll eat you alive! It’ll be like lambs to the slaughter. Bring it suckers! (For a good example of the gloating blog, see: “Do You Really Think You Can Use God’s Law?“)
  1. The I Give Up Blog: You’ve broken me. I just can’t do this anymore. Too much pressure. Too much criticism. Too much negativity. I’m done, I need a break. My life is overtaking me and it is all because of this GD blog. Why did Paul ever ask me to do this anyway? He knows I’m a busy person. I thought he was my friend, but now I think he actually hates me. (For a good example of the I give up blog, see: “Damn My Peaceful Spirit!” )

PopeBustersSmall

  1. The I Need Attention Blog: Man, it seems like nobody is reading my blogs anymore. Am I boring? Is it that my topics suck? Why don’t they love me anymore? I know, I’ll write something really bombastic. What can it be? What can it be? Hmm… I know. That’s it! Eureka!! I’ll say that Lutherans need a pope. Ha! That’ll get them. Everyone will comment and I’ll know that they really like me again. I’m am so funny! (For a good example of an I need attention blog, see anything written by The Emperor’s Chair. Or, just take a look at this: “Lutheran’s Should Reconsider the Papacy” )
  1. The Healthy Groove: It’s a blog. It’s just a blog. Life is so much bigger than this blog and the commenters on it that drive me crazy. I need to write about things that matter to me and stop worrying about what the people in their underwear who are commenting from their mom’s basement are going to say. Write about what matters to you most in your life, and let be what will be. After all, He’s truly got it all covered anyway. We are, as Dr. Mallinson has said, just doing theologia viatorum here, or a theology of pilgrims traveling through this messy world. It is a theology and commentary on Christ in culture written by a bunch of people on the way. And sometimes we are just a group of guys (and now one girl) who like to have fun. (For a good example of the healthy groove blog, see: “Manhood and the Totin’ Chip” )

P.S. This started out as twelve stages, but I just couldn’t let The Emperor’s Chair off of the hook. The “I Need Attention Blog,” had to be included.

P.S.S. Props to my wife (The Lovely and Talented Mrs. Keith) for giving me the idea for this blog. She has watched and heard me go through all of these stages and thought a blog about it would be freaking hilarious.

JaggedWordLogo2

2 thoughts on “The Twelve (Now Thirteen) Stages of Grief When Writing a Weekly Blog

  1. Love this!!! My personal all time favorite was Through the Tunnel Yosemite. Very special.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Like

Comments are closed.