By Cindy Koch –
Have you ever been so tired, so exhausted, that you could not stand up? Every muscle screams at you to stay put. You know you should move. You should probably keep going. But you can’t. Your energy is gone. Your will has melted. You have nothing left to give, and so you stay right where you are.
Maybe you’ve never been there physically, but you have been emotionally paralyzed. There’s not one nice thing left to say, and you can’t go on playing these terrible mind games. They’ve hurt you and you’ve hurt them. You can’t love, you can’t forgive, you have nothing left to give and you don’t want to try anymore.
This life is taking its shots at me right now. I’m pushed to the limit. I can’t see how this overwhelming reality is going to get any better; I only see how it will get worse. There is too much, and I am not enough. There are things I did that I cannot fix. There are people whom I have hurt and those who I just didn’t help. I am not a good person, and I am overwhelmed.
The very first things my well-meaning friends want to do is relieve my exhaustion – change my perspective. I do love them for that. They tell me I’m not that bad. They say it could be worse. They give me tips on how to relax and reprioritize, or tame my tongue, or communicate better. They point me to a better version of me – and maybe I could be that someday…
But I can’t do it. I will try for a while. I might be a little better here and there. But, I will get much worse where no one can see. My actions, my thoughts, my situation, and even my God tell me over and over again – I am a sinner.
Have you ever been so tired, so exhausted, so unworthy, so beaten down that you could not stand up?
“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ – by grace you have been saved – and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesian 2:4-10
You are alive. You are standing. You are moving! We see our dire situation, and God sees us seated with Christ in the heavenly places! He said you are alive and you are doing good works, even though you are still broken and defeated. At the very same time you are paralyzed and overwhelmed by sin – you are forgiven, accepted, loved, and alive in Christ.