By Cindy Koch –
Some things hide deep behind all emotion. Some things dwell there that I never really had to think about. From the childhood memories, to the teenage explorations, to the adult reasoning, I have inexplicably known certain things about myself. And I’m sure everyone does. We live with ourselves—our thoughts, our reactions, our hopes and dreams—and we construct a unique identity deep within our familiar walls of own flesh and bone. I can remember the scared little girl silently terrified in the dark. I can recall the secret confusion and solitary triumphs found only in the treasury of my mind. I have tried to learn how to deal with this ugly, harsh world by trial and error, failure and tears. I have fought to find a path of beauty and comfort for my ever-tender heart, building my strength as an individual every single day.
But what if I’m wrong about who I am?
Because some things are greater than me. Some things were present before I ever was. From a sun, star and moon, to generations of children teenagers and adults who have already walked these paths, to a Truth that dwells outside of my own experience, I should question what I really know about myself. Do broken pieces of a turbulent story make up who I am? Do personal reactions and private emotions create the essence of my person? Am I bound only to the meager hopes and ridiculous dreams that I construct in my mind? Can I simply choose to identify as a man or a woman, a monkey or an eagle? Am I just desperately coping with this ugly harsh world? Have I found beauty and comfort only in my imagination?
So, what if I’m wrong about who I am?
There is a voice outside of your head and your heart. He speaks, and you are. It’s outside of your emotions and your memories. It’s outside of your triumphs and your failures. This voice speaks Truth exactly as it is. Creator of the world, before you ever were. Savior restoring people to who they were made to be, whether you asked for it or not. Sustainer of the Truth, external, unblemished, complete, spoken to you. This voice tells you exactly who you are, even after a lifetime of misunderstood goals and ideas. This voice clearly defines your identity, even in the middle of personal tragedy, disgusting debauchery, and soul-wrenching confusion. This voice is Truth, the only beauty and comfort that endures.
So what if you’re wrong about who you are?
Based on your own strength, feelings, and reasoning, you’re wrong about who you are. Because the Truth about you cannot be built by your childhood memories, teenage explorations, or adult reasoning. You can only listen to a Voice that made you unique and special. You are His beloved creation. He knit you together in your mother’s womb. He called you His own child, even while you were kicking and screaming. He killed you. He shamed you. He pierces you with His Law. He raised you. He forgives you. He feeds you with the hope of everlasting life. Left to yourself, you’re wrong about who you are. But He will always be right.